Some people fix their attention on what was: The way this church used to be. The way our old church used to be. The way our grandparents’ church used to be. These folks quickly grow discontent. The church that is can never compare to the church that was. The folks are not much fun to be around.
Some people fix their attention on what is: What is “good” or “bad” today. What I’m “getting out of” church today. These folks remain unrooted, uncommitted, and unable to simply settle down and relax. Particularly when something gets uncomfortable, they run off to whatever else, or where ever else, or whoever else that they find novel. Such people often find themselves alone without stable rhythms or community.
Some people fix their attention on the future: What could be, whether good or bad. The future can seem so exciting precisely because it’s all in our heads. Pure imagination. But—spoilers!—no one really knows a dang thing about tomorrow. In full disclosure, this is where I tend to live, and it causes me to both forget the past and to be out of touch with what’s going on with the people right in front my face.
The trick, I suspect, is to learn how to learn at the center of the Venn diagram where the past, present, and future overlap. To not be overly enamored by one, nor to be overly averse to another.
Recall the past. Name it for what it was. Reminisce about church members you haven’t seen in years and the pastors who have come and gone. Tell stories. Even better, write them down—all of them. Let nothing be forgotten, no matter how small or how awful. The glories, the suffering, the beauty, and the hurt. Give thanks, laugh, and/or repent as needed.
Engage in the present. Look people in the eyes. Enjoy each others potluck casseroles. Sing your favorite songs, and sing even louder with other people’s favorite songs. Pray out loud whenever you feel it, and “Amen” other people’s prayers as if they were your own. Laugh when someone else laughs. Weep when someone else weeps.
Welcome the future. It’s coming for your church, whether you open the front door or not, so you might as well loosen up and make friends with it. The future is wild and out of control. There is no taming it. Don’t bother. Do your best to enjoy it for what it is. Whether it comes to you as a bunny or as a lion, whether it feels dangerous or safe, hold out your hand in a gesture of humble invitation.