Forgiveness is hard as hell. That is, forgiveness is as hard as the hell that was done to you.
If you scratch my car with your shopping cart in the Kroger parking lot, I’ll be annoyed, but forgiveness won’t be too hard, like leisurely sifting sand through my fingers on the beach. However, if you hurt my kid, digging forgiveness up out of my heart is going to be more like swinging a pick mattock into Georgia red clay: a lot of sweat, cursing, and sore muscles.
Over the past year I’ve been haunted by Jesus’ final expression of forgiveness: “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” This is divine absurdity.
After being arrested for no other crime than offending the powers that be, being mocked, beaten, stripped naked, paraded through the streets, suspended by nails pounded between his bones, and slowly dying as his torturers gambled for his clothing to pass the time…
…this is the moment Jesus prays for their forgiveness!? Divine absurdity.
This haunts me because forgiveness disconnected from apology is crazy talk. Hurt me on purpose? I can forgive that. Hurt me because you’re a clueless narcissist? That’s a a bit harder. Got a heartfelt apology? I can extend heartfelt forgiveness. Defend yourself and scapegoat me as being the one in the wrong? I’m gonna hold a grudge.
But then again, for the record, I’m not Jesus.
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