Then talk about it. Especially if it’s potentially difficult. Especially if the stakes are high. Odds are it won’t be as difficult as you fear, nor the stakes as high as you imagine them to be.
Talk about it with the right person. The person closest to the center of the thing. The person whose relationship is most directly involved and affected. Not the easy-to-talk-to person. Not the one who will just make you feel better. Talking with the wrong person may feel like you’re making progress, but you’re really just stalling.
Talk about it soon. Don’t wait until an opportunity magically presents itself. Don’t hold it in until you feel like it—the odds of you feeling ready decrease in inverse proportion to how hard the conversation might be. Be aware of your feelings and empathetic to the feelings of others, but don’t depend on them. Feelings are mostly there as witnesses to the fact that something is worth talking about.
Talk honestly and lovingly. Without authenticity and charity there is no real conversation, only argument.
“We make ourselves real by telling the truth.”
-Thomas Merton (No Man Is An Island)
