Family traits are hard to deny. It’s uncanny sometimes how family members, with all their individuality and diversity, still end up with a similar laugh. Or a similar gait. Or a similar taste in food or music or art. Or a similar lens through which they see the world. Or a similar way of dealing with difficulties. Part of what makes a family a family is this web of shared nuances of being human that are unique compared to any other family.
Family traits are hard to escape. For everyone on earth, there are likely family traits that they enjoy, or are at least just fine with, but there are also those traits we spend our entire lives trying to break free from. Addictions. Unhealthy patterns of communication. Hurtful non-communication. Manipulation or control. Bad habits when it comes to finances. An inability to talk about things that really matter. Families impart to us blessings, and they also impart curses. And maybe that’s just part of the deal.
Family traits are also hard to fake. Anyone who has been married and then tried to blend in with their partner’s family knows this. Someone could try to be a part of your family, but an afternoon barbecue, or a birthday party, or a beach trip, or any extended time together is going to show the truth. Sometimes trying is good and right. Sometimes trying too hard just comes off as fake. In the end, becoming a part of a family, to personally take on some of their traits is just a matter of intentionality, proximity, and time.
Such is also true in the family of God.
If someone truly is in the family, there will be obvious traits. They will bear the family resemblance. They will “look like” the Father. And because we often don’t see ourselves very clearly, it’s massively important that we name and honor those traits when we see them in one another.
There are also challenging aspects of the family of God. Because, until the new heavens and the new earth, we are with a heavenly family that is still quite earthly. At best we Christians are a mixed bag. For now, at least. Have patience and grace.”
It’s also really hard to fake being in the family of God. Impossible to sustain, really. And it’s worth noting that in our desire to fully bear the family resemblance, we often resort to masks and half-baked performances. It’s best to just be as intentional as you can, as authentically as you can, for as long as you can. The family traits that all children inherit from the Father will rub off onto you over time, little by little.
