Depends on what you put into it. The better the relationship you have with someone, the more you will benefit from it. Your life will be richer because of the relationship; and your life will be poorer if it is lost. And hopefully, this goes both ways. Relationships are, after all, a two-way street.

Good relationships are costly, but they are worth it: Proximity. Time. Listening. Vulnerability. Trust. Patience.

At some point. At some point. In some situation.

Life is such that we will all hit our limits of time, resources, patience, and power. When what we are facing cannot be faced alone. When what we need is more than a friend who will console us, but rather an ally who will fight for us. Someone who will stick up for us when we can barely lift ourselves out of bed.

To be clear, Jesus is not a genie. He is not trapped in a magic lamp that if you rub it in just the right way, saying just the right words, he will then grant you whatever you wish. But he sure does say some things that sound like that’s the case.

“I will do whatever you ask in my name.”

“You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”

Whatever? Anything? Those are some wide limits. I could fill up whatever with a lot of things, and my list of anything could be pretty dang long. As long as I use your name? You will do it all? Sounds too good to be true. Because it is.

Begins with being as Jesus was: close to the Father.

One of the richest and most puzzling words in the Bible, particularly in some passages where Jesus talks about his relationship with the Father is a tiny little word: in. In most common usage we understand it makes obvious sense. In fact I just used it twice when saying, “in the Bible,” and “in some passages.” It locates a word being referenced. Or if I say, “The dog is in her crate,” you can picture that. Or if I say, “The jelly is in the fridge,” you can find it.

But “I am in the Father,” and “the Father is in me”? Not so clear. How can a thing be inside the thing it is already inside of?

I recently met a woman who had grown up her whole life, well into her early 40’s, not knowing who her father was. Her mother didn’t even know. So when the technology came along for DNA testing and lineage tracing, she was an early adopter. For over a decade she waited for a hit.

Then, one day, an email landed in her inbox saying that a DNA match had been found: a cousin. The two ladies connected online and eventually met in person. As they talked, and as more family extended family members did DNA tests, the picture became more clear. All genetic signs pointed to two brothers: one of them was her uncle, and one of them was her father.

Then came an opportunity to meet one of them. Unsurprisingly, there was clearly a family resemblance. I saw it with my own eyes. Same mouth. Same eyes. Same skin tone. Sort of the same nose. Direct paternity had not been confirmed. But dang. In my opinion the science would only confirm what was obvious to everyone.

Are what amount to living a full life. Show me someone who is aimless, and I’ll show you someone not living their best life. Show me someone who thinks they know the goal, but is lost or else accidentally heading in the wrong direction, and I’ll show you someone frustrated with their life.

Well, at least in our goal-oriented, success-driven society, that feels rather true. And maybe that’s all well and good, as far as it goes. Two thumbs up for goals and plans. It’s just that no goal or plan ever survived in the wild, open air of reality.

The life of faith that Jesus invites us into accounts for this wildness. 

Wide. Expansive. Open. Warm. Welcoming. Limitless in guest capacity.

That can be difficult to grasp, given our human limitations. Even the most hospitable people I know have their limits.

To be honest, hospitality is not my strong suit. If hospitality is a virtue that can be practiced and learned, I much rather opt out and lean into some easier spiritual discipline like—I don’t know—fasting or poverty. I’ll give up food and material goods so long as I can still be alone and undisturbed! My heart only has so much space for extra people being in the middle of my daily life.

Sometimes folks are a little overzealous. I know I have been at times. Being zealous about something is a good thing most of the time. But if someone puts over in front of zealous, don’t take it as a compliment. Take it as a friendly warning.

Slow down. Ease up. Back off. Hit the brakes. Relax.

The so-called Golden Rule is a good one: “Do to others what you would have them do to you.”

Even many who have no faith buy into this one. Whether or not it came from the mouth of Jesus is irrelevant. It makes good sense and resonates with anyone intent on simply being a good human.

This measure of treatment is self-referential. Which is not a bad place to begin. Would you like others to be kind to you? Be kind to others. Would you be grateful if someone was generous to you? Be generous to someone else. Would you love to receive compliments and encouragement? Give away compliments and encouragement. Treating others the way you want to be treated is solid advice.

No matter how hard you look. It’s a crushingly lonely and disorienting feeling. One minute he is there, and then—poof!—the next minute he is gone.

This happened literally to the disciples. One night dinner; the next night death. He warned them of this, of course. His imminent absence. He also gave them a heads up that it would only be temporary, that he would not leave them alone forever. But that either didn’t quite sink in, or else just wasn’t enough to dull the shock of losing him so quickly and with so much violence.