I used to believe that God’s blessings would bring stability, ease, and comfort. That if God was blessing something in my life, that it meant that thing would largely stay the same, probably improve somehow, and most certainly get easier. 

Now I’m beginning to believe that God’s blessings bring change, challenge, and discomfort. That God’s touch never leaves something the same, and that new territory of transformation is uncharted, sometimes scary, and maybe even a little dangerous. 

What if it comes more in whispers than in shouts?

What if it’s felt more in silence than in subwoofers?

What if it’s not very explosive or newsworthy?

What if it’s not very tweetable, Instagrammable, or YouTubeable?

It’s happened to even the most conscientious among us: A simple drive to the grocery store or something gets interrupted by the flicker of blue and red lights in your rear view mirror. Followed by a flush of nervous adrenaline and embarrassment. Your mind swimming with questions: “What on earth did I do? Did I miss a stop sign? Was I speeding? Is my tail light out?”

The officer walks up to your window, you hand her your license and registration, and she asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?” You pause. You think you know how fast you were going. After all, you’re not a speeder. Surely you were pretty close to the speed limit. Maybe 5 over. No more than 10.

Trusting in the sovereignty of God comes most easily in the abstract. The further out the reality, the easier it is to piously nod my head. But as the concentric circles get closer in to me and my actual life, the higher the stakes get, and the stronger the impulse becomes to take things into my own hands. 

Is earned by learning Jesus’ prayer on the cross: 

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

Luke 23:34

Glory is that quality of someone or something that attracts attention. Glory demands to be noticed. Glory causes eyes to grow wide, jaws to drop, and voices to gasp. 

We all respond to glory. It’s a human reflex. Like when you see people pulled over on the side of the highway, phones out, pointed up at a double rainbow.

Was my stubborn reply to the insistence of my mother and brother and other family members. “There’s too much fog and smog. And we’re just a little to far away. And not high enough up.”

There was an unusual amount of fog. That much was true. And there was the usual amount of smog. Also true. But we were indeed close enough and high enough up—my insistence that we were too low and distant was untrue.

For everyone going into ministry. Or anyone doing anything important, for that matter. 

But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.

They spread their wings and soar like eagles,

they run and don’t get tired,

they walk and don’t lag behind.

Isaiah 40:31

This is really good news, because waiting upon God is hard work. 

You’ve heard that old saying. You know the feeling. It’s like your brain has hearing damage.

I’m beginning to realize that the hearing damage is actually more profound: “It’s so loud I can’t hear my soul speak.”