I read recently that pain can only be described in metaphor. 

“A drum pounding in my head.”

“A needle is stabbing behind my eye.”

“There’s a brick in my stomach.” 

“My skin is on fire.”

Pain, it seems, can only feel like something else if we’re going to communicate any sense of it at all. 

Prayer, I think, works the same way. If we’re going to make any sense of it at all, it is only going to be in metaphor. Prayer is not a math problem or a geometry proof or a chemical formula or a secret code—up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, Aselect, start—and then you get 30 extra lives. 

No. Those are metaphors, but probably unhelpful ones. But maybe they’re helpful to someone else. To me, prayer is more mysterious than mathematics, or science, or coding. 

That I hold onto as if my life depends on it. Because it does. When I forget, when I get distracted, when I loosen my grip in whining and complaining, I lose my balance. I feel myself teeter off center. 

Then I remember, with a surge of fear, the rushing river beneath me that will sweep me away If I let go. The icy cold swirl of life, with all its cares and concerns, all it’s eddies and boulders. So I grip on tighter with a prayer of thankfulness. Even the smallest thing will do: the wind across the pond, the sigh of my dog, the stirring of my children in the dark morning, my wife’s gardens, burritos, a new song I’ve never heard before, an old song I’ve heard a thousand times, a good book, even a mediocre book. Any little thing will do, and a string of little things gives my fingers enough strength to hold on a little longer. 

Ought to be mandatory preventative maintenance. Expected. Somewhat regular. Guilt-free.

Like taking your car in for an oil change or a tire rotation. Like getting your yearly physical. Like regular date nights with your partner.

If you wait until a warning light is blinking red, you possibly waited too long. Now you’re in damage control mode. It’s better to rest before repairs are needed.

It will be stolen, depleted, diminished, forgotten, rejected, exhausted, used up, burned out, boxed out, crowded out, passed by, sidelined, left behind, ignored, marginalized, broken, weakened, overwhelmed, and silenced by the relentless roar of waves crashing on our shores.

And why is that, exactly? Why does that happen?

It doesn’t really matter. Why is an unhelpful question, I think. There are a million and one reasons why, and we can never bulwark ourselves against them all.

Perhaps a more helpful question to ask is how? How, then do we regain lost joy?

And that’s a good thing. 

Unless you’re the kind of person who values speed and efficiency. The kind of person who likes quick decisions and quick actions and quick outcomes. The kind of person who is just ready to get on with it and get things done. In that case, the slowness that comes with a team will feel to you like a bad thing. 

But it’s still a good thing. 

Are almost always bad decisions. When I am overly hasty in coming to some conclusion, in choosing a direction, in weighing A and B, it’s usually because I am uncomfortable. Discomfort rushes me into some decision—any decision—as a means of remedying the discomfort as quickly as possible. 

The relief is real, but momentary. 

Peace does not push its way in. Peace does not force itself into a situation. Peace does not demand an audience. Peace does not insist on getting its way. Peace does not come naturally or automatically. 

Peace must be invited. Peace must be welcomed. Peace must be worked for. 

Whether internal peace (within one’s own body, mind, or soul), or external peace (within one’s relationships, environment, or society), there is a single first step to take: attentive silence. 

Isn’t automatic. There are so many competing versions of you being put forth every day—from both external and internal sources—that it requires some careful consideration. The false self is tricksy. Unmasking the false self is hard work.

That means questions.

Below are a few just to get you going. You may not be able to answer all of these very well. That’s OK. That’s not the point. The power is more in the asking than the answering. Resist the urge to force an answer just for the sake of having one. 

Fairness is all about someone getting what they deserve. Grace is all about someone getting what they do not deserve. 

Fairness is getting what you pay for. Grace is being gifted what you could not afford.

Fairness is concerned with return on investment. Grace is concerned with a generous payout regardless of your contribution.

Fairness values your performance. Grace values your personhood.

Fairness bases decisions on merit. Grace bases decisions on mercy.

Is part of your work. 

Think about why you do what you do. From the big picture all the way down to the details; both the forest and the trees. The desires that drive you from within and the purposes that push you out into the world are perhaps the most important thing about your work. “Why” is the soul of work.